the present - part 3

So where am I now? after almost 5 months I still have lots of hate in my heart (yes, I have prayed about this, but it is still there - so anyone else is welcome to pray for me too) I still wish violent things on the doc and TBSJSB (picture an anvil falling from the sky Wily E Coyote style)- I know I shouldn't and I firmly believe in karma, but I can't help it. My life feels ruined at times (which again is such an overreaction - and I call the teenager in the house the drama queen - wonder where she gets it?) because I have so many positive things in my life- but, I was dreaming of buying a new house this year (again I know - be thankful I have one to begin with) and guess what - can't do that jobless...Plus I specialized so finding a job in my speciality is pretty damn tough when there is only one OB doc in a 40 mile radius...


I am bitter because even though I know we control our own destinies I feel like he ruined mine - I spent thousands of dollars (never knew just how much a master's cost - it ain't pretty people) and lots of time getting my nurse practitioner license and Why? it isn't helping me now - I spent 4 months in Dallas in school away from my husband and kids - also I don't want to change my way of life - it's just not fair (again yeah, I know life's not fair) I still have my RN license to fall back on but, that's not what I am anymore - I didn't work my ass off to get thru school to go back to that (Not that I am in ANYWAY dissing RN's - more so the shift work, holidays, etc....I have lots of close friends that are nurses) but more than anything I was doing a job I loved and I don't want to settle for one I dread going to everyday just to pay the bills (I know some people can't even find a job in this economy - so again be thankful - but hey this is my pity party)so I have been waiting on my perfect job to fall in my lap - which hasn't happened - and yes, I am beginning to see the light it ain't gonna....So anyone got any job suggestions for me? Words of encouragement? Know someone who will bust TBSJSB's knee caps? (JK - I am unemployed remember - I can't afford to pay someone to do that)- I prefer job suggestions do not involve nudity nor dancing - because rest assured I need to make money and no one in their right mind would pay to see that...McDonald's is usually hiring I know, but that falls way short of my normal salary I need to pay the bills...

Fortunately, my last temporary job (I worked Sept. thru Dec - grant funded - ended at the end of the year) should be starting back up soon and that will be income again...although I was originally told we would probably start back up the end of January and the most recent news was it maybe March. In the meantime guess I am being an unemployed bum.....That is unless I go thru all my savings and you see me at the drive thru asking if you want some fries with that...If I get commission or something I'll probably be begging you to buy one of those damn apple pies too.....

a little history - part 2

Ok this is a long one - but the real nitty gritty here - so grab a coke and have a seat - Fast forward to May of 08 we have a contract in place which includes vacation/sick days per year, continuing education, holidays, etc....Now nowhere is it mentioned in the contract about accruing vacation days only x amount per year...I even have my prescriptive authority he wanted me to get...I decide in May to have PRK (vision correction) surgery done - I was told I would need to be off just a few days for this so I schedule myself off on a Thursday (since I already had Friday's off) and figure with the weekend to recuperate I will be back at work on Monday. No, not that simple - I have complications from hell and can't see stuff right in front of my face must less read a chart or do an ultrasound so I have to call in and take an extra week (which I of course had a doctors excuse for from the surgeon) I go back just expecting to be fired again - because I mean hell, if he fired me for taking too long after a funeral who knows- but he was as nice as he could be and didn't give me any problems....Since I didn't take anymore time off during the summer I have like 10 vacation days left until...


August 08 - trip planned to Michigan to watch my kids compete in the Jr. Olympics (plane tickets purchased) I decided to take an extra day off and talked to the receptionists about it since they handled the scheduling and would need to know in advance to book light...before I can talk to the doc about it one of the receptionists apparently mentions it to him...So he comes to me and says - I think you have already taken too much time off this year and now you want an extra day - I have decided I want to terminate our contract and just go back to paying you a daily rate....I said so "Basically you just don't want me to have vacation or any benefits" - he says Yes, right...I said well, I don't know...He says well, this is what I have decided to do (basically like it or lump it - end of discussion).....so I go on vacation and decide not to let it run my vacation and not worry about it....

I get back - busy day in the office - he is late (as usual) charts are stacked up, waiting room is full....He calls me in his office and says Well, I don't think - No, I know - I am not going to need you anymore at the end of the 30 days.....I am in shock - I can't say anything but Ok? because I am not one to beg..Then the SOB has the nerve to say -and, I have an appointment this morning so I will need you to see the rest of the morning patients....(WTF - You are kidding right?, where the hell is candid camera hiding? - you just fired me and you want me to do you a favor?!?) He leaves and I loose it....I shut my office door, call my husband and the bawling begins....He says well, what do you want to do? I said I want to get my shit and walk out. He said well, fired is fired so if that is what you want to do - do it.....So, after I wipe all the snot from my nose, try to quit crying and clean up all the mascara I go out front and tell the receptionists "I am sick - and I am going home" they look at me like I was speaking a foreign language - so I repeat it with "you will have to reschedule all these patients"....I pack my shit and go home....


Fast forward 2 hours and doc calls me on my cell and says "Why did you leave the office?" I say - well, I am sick (since I feel like I have been drop-kicked in the stomach) he replies - well you weren't sick this morning....I said No, I wasn't until you fired me, but I could not go in and see patients crying, and feeling like I was going to puke....I honestly am in shock and pretty upset" He said well, I don't know why you are surprised I mean you were always late, and you just don't seem motivated, and you just took an extra day off and didn't even ask my permission - and you have taken all this time off you haven't accrued.....I said - You are right, I am late (anyone who knows me knows I am late for everything -)but since I am salaried I also frequently work into my lunch, and stay late seeing patients so I feel like that evens out - I have always been very productive (to which he says Yes, you have) patients like me (some of which would in fact rather have seen me - so HA) and we talked about that extra day - you knew about it...and my contract does not say anything about accruing vacation time...He says yes, but you didn't ASK for the extra day off....He asks if I am coming back at all and I say I don't know....


After consulting with an attorney I am advised if I don't go back I am essentially breaking our contract by not fulfilling my 30 days notice, and that may hurt me when people ask for a reference (like I want someone who fired me providing a reference?)plus that is at least a couple more weeks I would get paid for so I decide to use the rest (5 days) of my vacation/sick time and call in sick the next 5 days - I mean it wasn't like he was gonna pay me for them, and it took me 5 days to calm down and decide I could go back without bursting into tears (which I REALLY didn't want to do) I go back and he is as nice as can be - even says "thank you for coming back" so I delude myself into thinking maybe this will end up like last time and at the end of the 30 days he will decide to do the part-time thing or whatever again...At the end of the 30 days - dumb SOB doesn't even realize it (He is the one that gave me the notice and he can't look at a calendar and count out 30 days?) he asks me to work a few more days so I do (this I found out later was only because the new nurse practitioner couldn't start then) Somewhere in the last week I find out he had hired someone - none other than my "friend" - the same "friend" who came to our office as a student, who I had worked with at the hospital when I was an RN, the one I provided a reference for when she was job-hunting...the one who called me when he offered her a job before....She is now known as TBSJSB (the back-stabbing job stealing b**ch) - I know some people may not agree with this because if I was fired it wasn't my job anymore - but, he probably would have kept me on and done the part-time thing again etc - if it wasn't for her - plus it's my blog - if you don't like it too bad..


TBSJSB was not a "good friend" we didn't have lunch, or talk on the phone regularly, but I did consider her a friend - and in my opinion if she had any decency she should have called me and let me know what was going on (not that she needed my permission to take the job - but remember she did call me the last time) so I would have appreciated it if she had the balls to say - Look, he called and offered me this job, and I wanted you to know I am considering it - It is a good offer - or whatever....but instead she avoids me and does not make eye contact if she sees me now - Which is a very good thing for her because I do at time have anger management issues and have a whole speech ready in my head I plan on screaming at her if she dares speak to me (which she should not do in a public place because I am sure it will be quite embarrassing for both of us) so that leads us to the present....Part 3 tomorrow....

a little history - part 1

I have briefly mentioned that I got fired last year....Now not to sound trite (because I have so many things to be thankful for - a healthy family, my beautiful kids, good friends,a home, and food on the table) but it has been one of - if not the worst thing that has ever happened to me...I had never been fired from anything before in my life...I mean I could understand if I had called in sick all the time (Never did - nope, not once in 4 years until the eye surgery), didn't do my job, was rude to patients or actually harmed a patient -but I didn't do any of that....Now, I am sure there are two sides to every story - and my former boss might say I was the worst employee he ever had (which since I guess I am the only one he ever fired - yep, he would probably say that) I am hoping that writing about this will be somewhat therapeutic.....Cause since I am jobless I can't afford therapy...this is my side of the story (This is soooo long I will have to tell it in three separate posts - so if anyone cannot stand my misery or whining- skip the next three) after working for him for 4 1/2 years there is lots of history so here goes:

My former boss was a foreign doctor (I am not prejudiced against foreigners of any kind - but some do have a different set of values - so it is relevant) his top priority being MONEY, MONEY, and more MONEY - family coming much lower on the totem pole - This man's wife and kids live an hour a way in Memphis and he sees them on weekends and occasionally during the week- Now I like money as much as the rest of you - in fact LOVE to spend it - just ask hubby...But my kids and family are actually my top priority - I know my kids are only little once and this goes by way to fast so I try to be involved in everything they are and I stay active with them...Any of the other girls in the office were always allowed to take off to attend parties with their kids at school or school plays, awards, etc....So I thought this should be ok for me too - but, nope he didn't think so...This ties into when I quit....

I am an only child (previously mentioned brother is a half-brother), as is my mother (small - close family -talk to my mom several times a day)- so when my grandfather died in Dec. of 06 I took 3 days (which is the standard at factories and such) off - this coincided with the New Year's holiday so I was actually off a whole week - when I got back I was called in to doc's office and told he thought I took too long off and he had a new set of "work rules" for me...This included - obtaining my prescriptive authority, beginning to make rounds at the hospital on some weekends (which I was not going to be compensated extra for he told me) and all time off had to be approved 2 weeks in advance, and no more taking off for "family social reasons" only emergencies..also reviewing my work hours etc.....Now I keep it together but I am pissed - My grandfather just died and this is what I come back to? I told doc I would think about it, but didn't think that was going to work - simply because of the extra things he wanted me to do -like rounding without compensation....so we left it at that - when I get home with this story hubby is livid..he tells me to quit immediately - I think about it and decide maybe that is the best - (also because he had not given me the raise I wanted after 2 years either) so I go in the next Monday and turn in my 30 days notice (required by my contract) he is shocked I think....I work my 30 days - and at the end of which (because he could not find anyone else - he offered a friend the job and she called me, told me about it, and turned him down because of the rate of pay)he says would you consider staying on part-time so I agree and agree for him to basically pay me a set daily rate - which ends up being the raise I wanted to begin with....So this goes on for a long while and all is well..I even obtain my prescriptive authority like he wanted - but no more mention is made of the doing rounds...We decide to go back to a contract and re-sign one later on.....which leads to part 2....Stay tuned...I know ya'll can hardly wait.....