Incarcerated

Talk about your severe case of blog neglect...Almost two months since I have posted? Really.......wow, time flies......when you have become a facebook addict especially....in addition to whacking mobsters I have recently began farming at Farm Town which is hilarious considering I have a black thumb and could not keep a plant alive if my life depended on it.....

I guess there has not been much blog worthy...Actually been kinda cranky/snarky/just plan bit**y lately....These past two months have survived my computer being out of commission, multiple ballgames, a week without drama queen while she was as at swim camp staying in the dorms at a major university, stepson's wedding and a new job, hence the blog title....

Tomorrow I began my new position as a nurse practitioner at a women's correctional facility, which means yes, I will be locked up..... Very stressed out about this, have honestly been drinking all day thinking about it (and I have completely depleted our liquor supply since it is Sunday and in Arkansas liquor stores are not open....) - Nothing like staring a new job hung over, huh? I am not afraid of working in a prison it is the whole culture shock....no worrying about what cute necklace/earrings to wear because I will have to go thru a metal detector, so really what's the point? Can't take my cell phone in so no communication with my kids at all - which yes may sound like a god send, but makes it difficult for me to arrange the days event's and check on them.....Plus, as spoiled as this sounds I honestly have not worked 40 hours a week in probably ten years, and am not looking forward to it - in the hierarchy of my life my kids come first and a job honestly just pays the bills -so have actually considered selling everything I own to try to just live on one salary, but crap those kids like to eat, and we all like to take hot showers, so.......7am -5:30pm four days a week here I come (plus an hour drive one way..) Yippee!!!!

There were a few brief funny highlights over the past couple months I will share so this post is not a total downer......

Alex: (as we are in Mississippi passing the casinos including a sign for Paula Deen's restaurant...on our way to a swim meet in Tunica, MS) Wow, that's cool does Paula Deen live here?
Me: No, she just has a restaurant here kinda like a chain type thing
Alex: oh, we aren't in Arkansas anymore are we?
Me: Uh, NO (thinking when we crossed the big Memphis bridge into Tennessee this might have clued her in...) Dorothy we aren't in Kansas anymore......

Jackson :(After being told to clean out his drawers of clothes that no longer fit him...) Here these are some Dixie Dukes they don't fit no more...
Me & Alex: Huh, Dixie Dukes?
Jackson: Yeah, you know they are too short
Us: Yeah, OK got ya....

Will let y'all now how the prison thing goes - should at least have lots of interesting stories to tell huh?

Oops, forgot the absolute best "Alexism" while farming on FarmTown the other day....

Alex: Why don't you put your horses together with your donkeys?
Me: Because I don't want to mix my horses and donkeys.....
Alex: Do horses and donkeys make honkeys? With COMPLETE straight face and serious look...
Me: (Laughing hysterically) Are you serious?
Alex: What?
Me: Please don't ask that around just anyone......