Good news...I've escaped, and the demons are gone

Has it really been 5 months since I have posted anything? Oh yeah....I have been wasting any and all of my free time on Facebook. So I will attempt to catch you up to speed....I have escaped from the prison and am currently again working for the insurance company doing in-home assessments on patients. This is not necessarily my dream job, but I actually enjoy it because I have the flexibility to work my schedule around my kids schedules, and it pays well, so all is good on the job front for now..... Moving on to the demons.....


I feel I must mention some sort of disclaimer before beginning this story, so here goes....I consider my self a Christian even though I do not attend church regularly like I should, and do tend to have a sailor's mouth sometimes, but generally I feel like I am a good person,I believe in God and Jesus Christ, and I try not to be overly judgemental, especially of other peoples religious beliefs, etc.....(Translation don't bother commenting about how un-Christian this post is, I jest about it because quite frankly I was very concerned and in fact a little scared...)

Ok, moving on......In this current job I have seen all sorts of things, and been in all sorts of houses, including, but not limited to a 70 something year old man who pulled up in a conversion van, got out in his three piece purple suit with a flower in his lapel who proceeded to play his electric guitar for me after our visit (I had truly never seen someone who so well fit the description of "pimp"), I have gotten stuck in a pt.'s yard and had the pt. out in the pouring rain trying to get my car unstuck, I have been inside a camper where the pt. and I basically sit with out knees touching because it was that small, and I have actually even been left alone at a patient's house while he went to deliver something he cooked to his church and insisted I stay there because he would be right back, and proceeded to hand me the remote control to the tv, so little at this point surprises me. I am also accustomed to some of my religious patients asking if they can say a prayer for me or if I will pray with them, however......

Let me set the scene. Pull up to 1st visit run down appearing trailer, overwhelming foul smell when I walk in the door, manage to get thru seeing pt. and pt.'s wife (although I am concerned I will have that "smell" when I leave...) go to 2nd visit.....which is a strange looking little man - and when I say little it is hard to explain he looked almost like a "little person", but he was taller than a "little person" - maybe 4'11 or 5 foot. He also has long hair and a beard (not sure how that is relevant, but just so you know) and the smell is about twice as bad - to the point I am honestly willing myself not to gag. There is about 7 cats, and a dog, no electricity, no refrigerator, and no running water I later learn, so needless to say I am doing this visit as quickly as possible, sitting on the edge of my seat and trying to get out. I am always professional and nice and polite regardless of any one's living arrangements or situations (because I realize honestly some cannot help it) so I finish this visit, and am gathering my stuff in an attempt to run for the door, when he says.....

"Can I say a word of prayer with you?" well, what do I say to that? so I say yes, sure....he asks me to sit down so I again perch on the edge of the couch - he stands up and starts to pray and before I know what has happened this man has his hands on my forehead and in my hair (at this point there are numerous thoughts running through my head....such as...OMG, OMG, this man has his hands in my hair, he has no running water when is the last time he washed his hands, Was he on any psych meds?, How in the hell do I get myself in these situations?) This prayer keeps getting stranger and stranger and longer and longer, when he begins to rock my head back and forth and then say do you feel that? That is not me doing that - that is the holy ghost moving your spirit, - At that point I begin to get concerned, when the prayer goes on and turns toward Satan being cast away and the demons releasing my soul quite frankly I am getting very nervous (the thoughts are now along the line of ...Ok, I think I can take him, the front door is not far, how long will it take them to find my body if he cuts it up in pieces? are there any sharp objects near by?) By the time the undecipherable chanting starts - along the lines of oombagadwah, algabajwah - I am past the pointing of caring about being rude, being judgemental, or in any way offending him - I am more concerned when getting the hell out of this place. When he finally takes his hands off me (which seemed like 10 minutes later - was probably closer to 3) I jump up grab my bag and tell him thanks, He says I really feel like I need to touch your ears and do more healing, I said "NO, thanks I appreciate it, but I have to go see another patient and then I pretty much run out the door with him following along behind me saying how do I get in touch with you if I need you? I am thinking - Are you serious? Like I am going to give this man any way to contact me? I tell him call the insurance company if he needs anything insurance related. He proceeds to follow me out telling me he hopes he didn't offend me with his prayer (No, you just scared the hell out of me, but you didn't offend me...) He was probably still talking when I slammed the car door and sped off.....

Husband thought this was hilarious, and mom's quote was along the lines of "thank God someone finally got the demons out of you..." thanks for the concern about my safety and well being...although I may make sure I keep his address the teenage drama queen may need some demons cast out of her, her head does spin around sometimes....