bring it on 2009....

Can you believe in 4 days it will be 2009? Of course it will take me 3 or 4 months to get used to writing that on my checks...In some ways I am ready for this year to be gone, this was after all the year that I got fired from my job after 4 1/2 years (which TRULY sucks - I don't recommend it to anyone) then was replaced by someone I used to consider a friend who apparently stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife around - but I will save all that drama for another post.....But is it just me or did this year fly by?

Then it was the year Alex became a teenager - and so far we are both surviving it (although it is early - her birthday was just earlier this month) I also apparently hit my head or sniffed too much fingernail polish because I agreed to host a party with 2 other kids for a big New Year's Eve party/Happy 13 birthday party, so now that the stress of Christmas is over I can stress about this upcoming party, complete with DJ, party hats, and horns......So my wild and crazy New Year's Eve will be spent at the EACC tech center chaperoning a bunch of hormonal 13 year olds - WOO HOO - Party on.....And as a responsible adult chaperone I won't even be able to drink (and who wouldn't need a drink after putting up with approximately 150 of said hormonal teenagers) so wish me luck my friends....I'll post more if I survive it.....

P.S. In other happy news Jackson has not yet injured himself on the dirt bike he got for Christmas, and Alex has decided she wants one.....

Bah Humbug....

I could not sleep last night, and no, not because of the dog - he still has not shown back up - All because I did not do Christmas cards this year......Crazy, huh? I could not quit thinking about it, because I do Christmas cards every year - Now naturally, being the Sunday morning before Christmas there is no way possible I am gonna get Christmas cards out in time...So my next thought is well, maybe I should just send them out late with Happy Holidays on them, or I could be really weird and send out New Year's cards or something.....

The real problem was we were late getting our tree up and usually I take a picture of the kids in front of the tree for my cards (except last year when I bought Christmas Story cards because I LOVE that movie - I am one of the freaks that will watch it for 24 hours when they have that marathon on TBS - plus they were really funny one even had Ralphie with his Red Ryder BB gun saying You'll shoot your eye out....but anyway back to my point) This year our tree got put up pretty much on schedule then of course some of the lights wouldn't work - Len was going to fix that, and so it set there for almost two weeks before he finally just went and bought a bunch of new lights.....(For any smarty pants who says why didn't I just fix it myself - I refuse to do things Len says he is gonna do because if I did them I would never get him to do ANYTHING! - Although it is very frustrating when he doesn't do things like this in a prompt manner...) so by then the bah humbug bug had bitten me and I was like just screw it we won't even have a tree......(No, with three kids this wasn't really an option and I wouldn't do that I am not the Grinch...)but you can see how my schedule was thrown off, right?

So we have received lots of cards and Len was looking at them and says "So, what did you do for our Christmas cards?" and I said "Ummmm, what Christmas cards?" and so with an astonished look he goes a little further..."You didn't do Christmas cards? and since it is Christmas and Santa is watching me I did not cuss him and say what I wanted to...I just said "Nope, never did get around to that".... Now, this is driving me nuts - This forces me to do the following: With you people reading my blog as my witness...I hereby vow to do Christmas cards every year - short of some unforeseen illness or tragedy, because this is REALLY bugging me....and while I was lying there thinking how stupid this is to be awake in the middle of the night and thinking about this, I start thinking......I wonder what so and so will think, will they think I shunned them this year? Will they even miss me not sending one (and yes, again I am one of those freaky people who think - Hey, I haven't gotten a card from so and so - I guess because my life is boring that way- not that it bothers me if someone doesn't send me a card I just have people who regularly do so - so then you just kind of expect one -) and then so and so had such a cute picture of their kids, I want to show mine off too...So I am open to suggestions here....

The only solution I have thought of to somewhat calm my nerves is that I am gonna have some extra wallets of my kids made from my recent Friends of the Animals pictures (Very cute my 3 kids and the St. Bernard by a Christmas tree) and send them along with a HANDWRITTEN - Yep, I said HANDWRITTEN note to my peeps...(Bet after a few of them I will have paid my penance and never make this mistake again...)that way I still get to show off my kids, people know I did not shun/forget them, (I am just chronically late like usual....)plus I don't piss all the people off with the whole Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays debate if I try to send anything out immediately (for the record I am a Merry Christmas person under normal circumstances) and everyone will be happy, right? Yeah, I know I might should be on some sort of medication, huh? more later...have to go for now - getting on Ebay to find some really cute personalized stationery for those HANDWRITTEN cards......

Random updates

Not much new here, but for those of you who have wondered - So what happened with the dog?, and was the kid lying about the vocab words? Wait no more..

Knock on wood the dog has temporarily disappeared...Dog catcher was there (after my millionth call) one day last week - I missed the actual pursuit and do not know whether he actually caught the dog or not, but it hasn't been back all weekend and thus far this week (now you know why I haven't posted in like 5 days - I have been sleeping you guys....)

Drama queen was SO busted when Science vocabulary worksheet appeared in her Arkansas History folder turned around backwards and ....wait for it......wasn't even completed (for those of you thinking I was mean for not giving her the benefit of the doubt - told ya - I know that kid... sneaky one or so she tries to be or you could just say liar, liar, pants on fire...) So instead of KNOWING she turned it in and teacher must have lost it we back tracked to well, I thought I turned it in....(yeah right, and I just fell off the freaking turnip truck that's why it was turned around backwards and hidden in another folder......) I verified with the teacher that she did turn it in on Monday......Semester tests this week - that should be a whole other post once those grades get here - we were reviewing tonight and any question she didn't know the answer to she said "well, that's not gonna be on the test" Oh, I guess she just put that on the STUDY GUIDE for grins and giggles.......Now you know why the blog is called calgon take me away, right?

In happy news I have not gotten stuck in any patient yards this week, although after pulling up in one driveway today the woman says "You didn't pull all the way down the hill did you? Well you might be ok"...Needless to say I was a little anxious after that - I mean you can only pay so many wrecker bills before you go why in the hell did I get out of bed this morning? I got lucky and didn't get stuck, however don't think it has been a bed of roses around here because this is the latest......

I have bought stuff on eBay for years (love it!) - I even take the time to read people's feedback before I buy stuff - but after my most recent purchase - a Christmas gift for drama queen) I paid thru paypal then get this email from eBay a day later saying that it was a fraudulent seller and I should not pay or take steps to file a dispute...Well, Merry Christmas - so not only is drama queen not getting that gift I am gonna have to fight to get my money back....apparently someone hacked into this seller with the 100% positive feedback's account and set up a fake auction from China....lovely...more later, I am going to sleep before the dog shows back up....

Life is good...

Tee hee Tee hee - Today was fun.....ways I ruined the 13 year old drama queens day today:

1.) Took her to the dentist

2.) Breathed air in the same car with her

3.) Took her to get her third Gardasil shot (which by the way I HIGHLY personally recommend everyone get their teen or preteen daughter....)

4.) Spoke to her

5.) Took away her phone for the ENTIRE weekend (the world may end, huh?) because she did not turn in her Science vocabulary words this week and got a 0 on them. I mean seriously vocab words? that is just an easy A, and there is no excuse for being too lazy to do that.....She says she turned them in meaning the teacher miraculously lost only her paper (which I know could happen, but I also know my child - her dad is fixing to dig thru her backpack and I would lay odds he finds it - that is if she actually did it....) She also was told that she doesn't get said phone back until she turns them in - she said she can't because it was a worksheet or something and "she already turned them in" so I said well since you aren't getting credit anyway you can just write all them down and their definitions and turn those in....Her response...Well, why would I do that if I don't get credit for it? Missing the point entirely.....

6.) my mere existence....

7.) Will not buy her the new Northface jacket she wants and give it to her NOW, instead of for Christmas (what a whole two weeks away?)

8.) I have not developed a chronic case of laryngitis preventing me from talking to her at all....

Yep, today was a good day.....

Ever had one of those days?

Today was mine...as if the dreary rainy day wasn't enough....I finally find the house I am supposed to be going to - in the middle of nowhere outside of Palestine (I am currently doing in home assessments for an insurance company so I travel all over Mississippi, Crittenden, Cross & St. Francis Co.) after three phone calls trying to find the right house. See my patient, quickly do my paperwork - because I am running late since it took me awhile to find the right house. Go to leave, try to turn around and get stuck in the patients yard.....So much for that running a few minutes late.....

Not just a little stuck, huge ruts with the front wheels buried.... Let me just say I HATE THIS D**N Toyota Camry. (For anyone who doesn't know I traded in my nice black suburban when gas went thru the roof and got this car for the great gas mileage - yeah, whatever - hate it!) so in the pouring down rain my patient is trying to get me unstuck. First tries pushing my car - which ain't happening.....Then leaves me and goes down the road to see if he can get some help, comes back with a chain and tries 3 times to pull me out to no avail, because there was nothing to hook the chain to on this car....One hour after this began the Triple J wrecker arrives and pulls me out in a matter of minutes.....Embarassing, yep....it was.....Fortunately, I looked so pitiful (from standing in the rain - picture a drowned rat) the wrecker guy only charged me $25.

The crappy way the day began involved an arguement with the teenage drama queen over a glitzy silver & black short sleeved shirt I bought for her to wear to a New Year's party that she wanted to wear to school today. I refused to let her, which brought on a complete dramatized crying spell, which only made me madder....I think any minute her head may spin around at times. My mother is enjoying every minute of this saying "You are paying for your raising" - I really don't remember being that bad but apparently Len was or something because one of us might not live til her 18th birthday.... I think I am going to see if one of my catholic friends can get me some holy water. Would it be irreverant to put it in a SuperSoaker watergun and shoot her from a safe distance?

Inconsiderate Neighbors Bite

For the record please note the insane time of this post... Because it is so completely relevant to the entire rambling below...

Yes, I am awake at 4:03 in the morning not because I am an insomniac, but because a neighbor (although technically if her house burned many months ago and she has made no attempt to repair it and is not living there is she really a neighbor?) has a dog that barks and howls at every train that goes by our house (which occurs all throughout the night) - The dog does not do this just as the train goes by but for the preceding 15 minutes before when I suppose the freaking train is 5 miles away, but bet your butt it is coming.....

I am not a dog hater, I have three - but as a generally decent, considerate person if our dogs are raising hell in the middle of the night we get up and make the dogs shut up and if this is not possible bring the dogs in the house - so we are the only ones tortured not the whole freakin neighborhood....This is not possible with above mentioned neighbor because as I mentioned she IS NOT LIVING THERE......

Hello, if you move - TAKE YOUR DOG WITH YOU! Apparently she comes by and feeds the dog and I guess if the dog is really good (maybe it eats all it's vegetables that day?) she takes the dog with her for a little visit, but....she always brings him back.... To make matters worse the dog runs loose....I call the dog catcher at least once-twice a week to no avail...(Although if you ever want a good show I'll post when I do and you can come watch him trying to catch the dog - from my bedroom window I have a good view - it is quite entertaining and I must admit after one round and the dog catcher almost falling flat on his face tripping while running to catch the dog I almost peed in my pants laughing) I swear the dog recognizes the truck as soon as it comes down the street and immediately takes off running - usually before the poor guy can even get out of his truck good.

Now I have no experience with professional dog catching, but jeez a hot dog or some sort of treat always works for me- something about a long metal pole with a noose coming toward me might make me run too. I have even called the Friends of the Animals only to be told that if she is feeding the animal and it appears to be taken care of there is nothing they can do, so I ask....Does anyone have a paintball gun with a nightvision scope so I can go back to sleep? (JUST KIDDING - I would never intentionally harm an animal - but really how bad could a little paintball to the butt be?)