Tuesday, March 3, 2009

God grant me serenity

I am asking for serenity, because I am guessing God will not drop off a 2liter of Benihana punch (my favorite alcoholic drink) on my doorstep....Last night 2yr. old managed to pour a whole bunch of Dawn dish washing liquid on the kitchen floor, (which we have no clue how in the world he got since it was on top of the sink - although he has turned in to quite the climber...) he got into lot of trouble for that one because his daddy got in on that action.....

This morning, while I am trying to be productive and unload/load the dishwasher, this is what he occupied his time with:

and no it is NOT puke, any guesses?

that, my friends is the result of poured out liquid paper mixed with water (the same liquid paper I have been looking for - for about a week) FYI - liquid paper does not easily wipe off the floor it merely smears around...Fresh from the Dawn incident last night, I am ticked. I spank his butt (oh yes, I am one of those spanking people) AND set him in his room on his step for a time-out (translation - small break of time for me to regain my composure and not continue spanking him). Ignorance at this point is bliss.....

I go sit down at the computer (because I now deserve some Internet time - having done my productive thing for the day - the dishes, remember?) and Jesus. Mary. Joseph. and the disciples - this is what I look up and notice....

That would be my entertainment center I did not notice he expressed his artistic ability on with the liquid paper... (they do not stand out well, but if I wasn't so lazy I would zoom in on this picture to show you the red ponytail holders holding the doors together - a previous attempt to keep him out of the doors and from emptying all the contents on the floor - really folks, believe it or not I have tried childproofing, he is either exceptionally smart or the manufacturer's are dumb because he can find his way around just about any obstacle....)

Yes, mini-Picasso got the couch too, and the TV tray, and the stereo speaker on the other side of the fireplace, and the fireplace. Not only is he talented, he is quick, too, because I was only 30 feet away in the kitchen with the door open peeking at him from time to time so I am guessing he did this in the 3.9 seconds my back was turned putting plates in the cabinet maybe?

There are reasons he still goes to the babysitter 3 days a week, even though I am not currently working....

1. my sanity

2. my gray hair he insists on adding more of

3. I am not on any medication (which at this point I am beginning to consider )

4. There are people out there (like my babysitter) who actually enjoy little kids (which at this particular moment I am not sure I do - love them yes, like them - not so much, as I try to figure out how in the he** to get liquid paper out of fabric)

5. Did I mention my sanity?

If there is a positive side to this I was thinking about that program where high school kids get dolls to take care of and thinking maybe I could make money renting him out as an abstinence program at the local high schools. He is old enough to talk, so they couldn't forget to feed him, and trust me some of those dirty diapers won't let you forget about them either - a dark cloud of odor follows around so you can't forget that....So really I think it could be beneficial to both parties....

Of course I can't call and run that by the administration because getting on the phone invites more mayhem. While telling my eventful morning to my friend on the cell phone (because really what else can he possibly do today to top the liquid paper?) he pops up in the living room with a egg in each hand. By the time I get in there to put those up he is throwing the empty milk carton away. Since I don't see the milk poured on the floor I have to ask "What did you do with the rest of the milk?" To which he shrugs and says "poured it down the sink" Well, of course you did...............................................AAAAAAAH!!!!!!!......................I may kiss the babysitter when I drop him off tomorrow....................... She is getting an awesome birthday present and Christmas gift this year for sure!