The microwave - so easy a 2yr old can do it...

The two year old has taken a break from his toilet flushing hobby and has moved on to "cooking" he has been doing this off and on for a few months, but he is really into it now... This does not bother me (even though it generally entails dragging out several of my clean pots and pans and dragging them across the floor to the living room where he "cooks" on my coffee table) because he is happy, occupied, and doesn't have his finger in a plug-in socket somewhere.....Drives husband crazy because he is all "He is dragging clean pots and pans out everywhere...they DO NOT belong in the living room - yeah, whatever take a pill or something....I am not one to discourage his creative play (that sounded all Dr. Spock and everything, didn't it?) and let's be honest, someone might as well be cooking around here.....


So this morning I go to the bathroom and leave him watching Diego then hear the sound of the microwave (and I'm all like huh? is that the microwave?Did it just beep?) OMG can I not even pee or crap in peace? I mean give me a minute here....for just a second!?! - (sorry I know TMI ) so I get up and in the kitchen I find Rhett standing on a blue plastic storage bin turned upside down with a kitchen towel in the microwave. Since he only hit the 30 second button it was already "cooked"...I start screaming NOOOOOO! Especially when I see what is in the other hand just waiting to be next......a battery (Where in god's name did that come from?)...Can you even fathom what that explosion would have been like? Definitely would have got my butt off the toilet quickly.....So when I say WHAT ARE YOU DOING? get away from the microwave.... He looks up and calmly says "Me cooking supper...." - Thanks son for taking care of that for me.....maybe for desert we will have a dump truck or Handy Manny's measuring tape.....

the present - part 3

So where am I now? after almost 5 months I still have lots of hate in my heart (yes, I have prayed about this, but it is still there - so anyone else is welcome to pray for me too) I still wish violent things on the doc and TBSJSB (picture an anvil falling from the sky Wily E Coyote style)- I know I shouldn't and I firmly believe in karma, but I can't help it. My life feels ruined at times (which again is such an overreaction - and I call the teenager in the house the drama queen - wonder where she gets it?) because I have so many positive things in my life- but, I was dreaming of buying a new house this year (again I know - be thankful I have one to begin with) and guess what - can't do that jobless...Plus I specialized so finding a job in my speciality is pretty damn tough when there is only one OB doc in a 40 mile radius...


I am bitter because even though I know we control our own destinies I feel like he ruined mine - I spent thousands of dollars (never knew just how much a master's cost - it ain't pretty people) and lots of time getting my nurse practitioner license and Why? it isn't helping me now - I spent 4 months in Dallas in school away from my husband and kids - also I don't want to change my way of life - it's just not fair (again yeah, I know life's not fair) I still have my RN license to fall back on but, that's not what I am anymore - I didn't work my ass off to get thru school to go back to that (Not that I am in ANYWAY dissing RN's - more so the shift work, holidays, etc....I have lots of close friends that are nurses) but more than anything I was doing a job I loved and I don't want to settle for one I dread going to everyday just to pay the bills (I know some people can't even find a job in this economy - so again be thankful - but hey this is my pity party)so I have been waiting on my perfect job to fall in my lap - which hasn't happened - and yes, I am beginning to see the light it ain't gonna....So anyone got any job suggestions for me? Words of encouragement? Know someone who will bust TBSJSB's knee caps? (JK - I am unemployed remember - I can't afford to pay someone to do that)- I prefer job suggestions do not involve nudity nor dancing - because rest assured I need to make money and no one in their right mind would pay to see that...McDonald's is usually hiring I know, but that falls way short of my normal salary I need to pay the bills...

Fortunately, my last temporary job (I worked Sept. thru Dec - grant funded - ended at the end of the year) should be starting back up soon and that will be income again...although I was originally told we would probably start back up the end of January and the most recent news was it maybe March. In the meantime guess I am being an unemployed bum.....That is unless I go thru all my savings and you see me at the drive thru asking if you want some fries with that...If I get commission or something I'll probably be begging you to buy one of those damn apple pies too.....

a little history - part 2

Ok this is a long one - but the real nitty gritty here - so grab a coke and have a seat - Fast forward to May of 08 we have a contract in place which includes vacation/sick days per year, continuing education, holidays, etc....Now nowhere is it mentioned in the contract about accruing vacation days only x amount per year...I even have my prescriptive authority he wanted me to get...I decide in May to have PRK (vision correction) surgery done - I was told I would need to be off just a few days for this so I schedule myself off on a Thursday (since I already had Friday's off) and figure with the weekend to recuperate I will be back at work on Monday. No, not that simple - I have complications from hell and can't see stuff right in front of my face must less read a chart or do an ultrasound so I have to call in and take an extra week (which I of course had a doctors excuse for from the surgeon) I go back just expecting to be fired again - because I mean hell, if he fired me for taking too long after a funeral who knows- but he was as nice as he could be and didn't give me any problems....Since I didn't take anymore time off during the summer I have like 10 vacation days left until...


August 08 - trip planned to Michigan to watch my kids compete in the Jr. Olympics (plane tickets purchased) I decided to take an extra day off and talked to the receptionists about it since they handled the scheduling and would need to know in advance to book light...before I can talk to the doc about it one of the receptionists apparently mentions it to him...So he comes to me and says - I think you have already taken too much time off this year and now you want an extra day - I have decided I want to terminate our contract and just go back to paying you a daily rate....I said so "Basically you just don't want me to have vacation or any benefits" - he says Yes, right...I said well, I don't know...He says well, this is what I have decided to do (basically like it or lump it - end of discussion).....so I go on vacation and decide not to let it run my vacation and not worry about it....

I get back - busy day in the office - he is late (as usual) charts are stacked up, waiting room is full....He calls me in his office and says Well, I don't think - No, I know - I am not going to need you anymore at the end of the 30 days.....I am in shock - I can't say anything but Ok? because I am not one to beg..Then the SOB has the nerve to say -and, I have an appointment this morning so I will need you to see the rest of the morning patients....(WTF - You are kidding right?, where the hell is candid camera hiding? - you just fired me and you want me to do you a favor?!?) He leaves and I loose it....I shut my office door, call my husband and the bawling begins....He says well, what do you want to do? I said I want to get my shit and walk out. He said well, fired is fired so if that is what you want to do - do it.....So, after I wipe all the snot from my nose, try to quit crying and clean up all the mascara I go out front and tell the receptionists "I am sick - and I am going home" they look at me like I was speaking a foreign language - so I repeat it with "you will have to reschedule all these patients"....I pack my shit and go home....


Fast forward 2 hours and doc calls me on my cell and says "Why did you leave the office?" I say - well, I am sick (since I feel like I have been drop-kicked in the stomach) he replies - well you weren't sick this morning....I said No, I wasn't until you fired me, but I could not go in and see patients crying, and feeling like I was going to puke....I honestly am in shock and pretty upset" He said well, I don't know why you are surprised I mean you were always late, and you just don't seem motivated, and you just took an extra day off and didn't even ask my permission - and you have taken all this time off you haven't accrued.....I said - You are right, I am late (anyone who knows me knows I am late for everything -)but since I am salaried I also frequently work into my lunch, and stay late seeing patients so I feel like that evens out - I have always been very productive (to which he says Yes, you have) patients like me (some of which would in fact rather have seen me - so HA) and we talked about that extra day - you knew about it...and my contract does not say anything about accruing vacation time...He says yes, but you didn't ASK for the extra day off....He asks if I am coming back at all and I say I don't know....


After consulting with an attorney I am advised if I don't go back I am essentially breaking our contract by not fulfilling my 30 days notice, and that may hurt me when people ask for a reference (like I want someone who fired me providing a reference?)plus that is at least a couple more weeks I would get paid for so I decide to use the rest (5 days) of my vacation/sick time and call in sick the next 5 days - I mean it wasn't like he was gonna pay me for them, and it took me 5 days to calm down and decide I could go back without bursting into tears (which I REALLY didn't want to do) I go back and he is as nice as can be - even says "thank you for coming back" so I delude myself into thinking maybe this will end up like last time and at the end of the 30 days he will decide to do the part-time thing or whatever again...At the end of the 30 days - dumb SOB doesn't even realize it (He is the one that gave me the notice and he can't look at a calendar and count out 30 days?) he asks me to work a few more days so I do (this I found out later was only because the new nurse practitioner couldn't start then) Somewhere in the last week I find out he had hired someone - none other than my "friend" - the same "friend" who came to our office as a student, who I had worked with at the hospital when I was an RN, the one I provided a reference for when she was job-hunting...the one who called me when he offered her a job before....She is now known as TBSJSB (the back-stabbing job stealing b**ch) - I know some people may not agree with this because if I was fired it wasn't my job anymore - but, he probably would have kept me on and done the part-time thing again etc - if it wasn't for her - plus it's my blog - if you don't like it too bad..


TBSJSB was not a "good friend" we didn't have lunch, or talk on the phone regularly, but I did consider her a friend - and in my opinion if she had any decency she should have called me and let me know what was going on (not that she needed my permission to take the job - but remember she did call me the last time) so I would have appreciated it if she had the balls to say - Look, he called and offered me this job, and I wanted you to know I am considering it - It is a good offer - or whatever....but instead she avoids me and does not make eye contact if she sees me now - Which is a very good thing for her because I do at time have anger management issues and have a whole speech ready in my head I plan on screaming at her if she dares speak to me (which she should not do in a public place because I am sure it will be quite embarrassing for both of us) so that leads us to the present....Part 3 tomorrow....

a little history - part 1

I have briefly mentioned that I got fired last year....Now not to sound trite (because I have so many things to be thankful for - a healthy family, my beautiful kids, good friends,a home, and food on the table) but it has been one of - if not the worst thing that has ever happened to me...I had never been fired from anything before in my life...I mean I could understand if I had called in sick all the time (Never did - nope, not once in 4 years until the eye surgery), didn't do my job, was rude to patients or actually harmed a patient -but I didn't do any of that....Now, I am sure there are two sides to every story - and my former boss might say I was the worst employee he ever had (which since I guess I am the only one he ever fired - yep, he would probably say that) I am hoping that writing about this will be somewhat therapeutic.....Cause since I am jobless I can't afford therapy...this is my side of the story (This is soooo long I will have to tell it in three separate posts - so if anyone cannot stand my misery or whining- skip the next three) after working for him for 4 1/2 years there is lots of history so here goes:

My former boss was a foreign doctor (I am not prejudiced against foreigners of any kind - but some do have a different set of values - so it is relevant) his top priority being MONEY, MONEY, and more MONEY - family coming much lower on the totem pole - This man's wife and kids live an hour a way in Memphis and he sees them on weekends and occasionally during the week- Now I like money as much as the rest of you - in fact LOVE to spend it - just ask hubby...But my kids and family are actually my top priority - I know my kids are only little once and this goes by way to fast so I try to be involved in everything they are and I stay active with them...Any of the other girls in the office were always allowed to take off to attend parties with their kids at school or school plays, awards, etc....So I thought this should be ok for me too - but, nope he didn't think so...This ties into when I quit....

I am an only child (previously mentioned brother is a half-brother), as is my mother (small - close family -talk to my mom several times a day)- so when my grandfather died in Dec. of 06 I took 3 days (which is the standard at factories and such) off - this coincided with the New Year's holiday so I was actually off a whole week - when I got back I was called in to doc's office and told he thought I took too long off and he had a new set of "work rules" for me...This included - obtaining my prescriptive authority, beginning to make rounds at the hospital on some weekends (which I was not going to be compensated extra for he told me) and all time off had to be approved 2 weeks in advance, and no more taking off for "family social reasons" only emergencies..also reviewing my work hours etc.....Now I keep it together but I am pissed - My grandfather just died and this is what I come back to? I told doc I would think about it, but didn't think that was going to work - simply because of the extra things he wanted me to do -like rounding without compensation....so we left it at that - when I get home with this story hubby is livid..he tells me to quit immediately - I think about it and decide maybe that is the best - (also because he had not given me the raise I wanted after 2 years either) so I go in the next Monday and turn in my 30 days notice (required by my contract) he is shocked I think....I work my 30 days - and at the end of which (because he could not find anyone else - he offered a friend the job and she called me, told me about it, and turned him down because of the rate of pay)he says would you consider staying on part-time so I agree and agree for him to basically pay me a set daily rate - which ends up being the raise I wanted to begin with....So this goes on for a long while and all is well..I even obtain my prescriptive authority like he wanted - but no more mention is made of the doing rounds...We decide to go back to a contract and re-sign one later on.....which leads to part 2....Stay tuned...I know ya'll can hardly wait.....

im from tha ghetto

I have been reluctant too post about this because I did not want to offend anyone, but what the hell....(Plus it's hard to top toliet fun) but now I have decided I want some opinion's here so ya'll drop a comment whether I was wrong or not....Here goes...


I joined facebook (FB for simplicity) awhile back because I let teenage drama queen get a FB and I wanted to be able to see what she was doing (cuz I'm nosy an involved parent like that) so in doing so I have collected a few friends and it is fun sometimes to keep up with people from high school, etc....Anyway, so we are both friends with the mom of drama queen's former boyfriend....During the break-up process the mom changed her FB status to something like...WHY is he putting up with drama from HER? to which another friend had made some comments about no girl being worth it, etc....so drama queen comes and tells me (because her feelings are hurt) so I tell her oh that's no big deal (not really believing that is probably what it said)...then I get on FB and sure enough that's what it says...so I think about it...and I am absolutely not one to get involved in teenage drama because it changes too quickly (i.e. the person they hate one minute is their BFF the next - lots of back-stabbing,boyfriend stealing,etc...) but the more I think about it the madder I get, (something along the lines of OH...NO...SHE...DIDN'T..) until in fact I am just plum pissed....Just because it is an adult and my baby's feeling are hurt, so I decide I have to respond so trying to somewhat make light of it I change my status to something like "peeps need to stop talking about MY baby because there are two sides to every story" - childish - perhaps, but I felt the need to be mama bear protecting her cub....Was this wrong? was I just being antagonizing? JA (the jackass - my husband, remember?) says that was stupid, I need to stay out of it and I am acting jr. high and on top of that I sound like I am from the ghetto talking about "peeps"...this starts a round between us about me simply taking up for her and how he disagrees...we finally decide to agree to disagree (translation - he will not admit I am right he is wrong)...


In the end....the mom saw my status and sent me a message that she was not talking about drama queen but possibly a friend of her's that had called her son and was basically giving him grief on the phone (I did know that one of drama queen's friends had done this - again - jr. high - good times..)....so it was all just a big misunderstanding that was straightened out with no harm done...but did I do the right thing or was I setting a bad example? Go ahead, comment, you won't hurt my feelings (too much)...This did also bring home the point of what assuming does (makes an ass of U and me - right?) since drama queen just assumed she was been talked about...

Toliet fun

The walking-talking temper tantrum has a new hobby....putting things in the toliet and flushing them...Now, I know most kids do this at some time or another - but my other kids were not quite as fascinated by this as he is... Nor were they as stubborn...Rhett has gotten in trouble for this before, but nothing on the magnitude of this....Tuesday night teenage drama queen says "Oooo Mom you better come see what Rhett has done" so I go to the bathroom to find Handy Manny's saw, a battery, and part of a dump truck in the toliet bowl...To which I promptly say..."Len, can you come here......" Sorry, call me sexist, lazy, whatever, but unless I am the only one home I ain't digging in the toliet bowl, that sounds like manly man work to me.... This is what Len easily collected from the toliet bowl:

Now what couldn't so easily be removed:

Yep, that is a dump truck peeking out of the toliet....So after much screaming and several words that would make a sailor blush...Len goes to work....

After even more words that would make a sailor blush....and some more.....yep, and a few more....VICTORY....

and yes, for those of you observant ones that WAS (notice the past tense) my kitchen tongs...In hindsight it probably was not helpful that drama queen and I were trying very hard not to laugh our a**es off - her because she knew she could get beat or grounded, me because I knew he would get even more mad and probably say screw it get it out yourself....But come on how can you not find humor in that (unless I guess you are the one digging around in the toliet bowl....)

So after that you would think I might be a little more observant when Rhett is around right, yeah, well yesterday morning while reading blogs, checking my email, ignoring my 2 yr old while he was supposed to be watching cartoons, I hear a flush and he says it's gone.....Not a good sign, I jumped up and yelled NO, get out of the bathroom, What is gone?" to which I never got an answer and apparently what if anything is long gone now....wonder what else Handy Manny might be missing?...He also has developed a fondness for throwing things in the trash, which is where I found a clean pair of my underwear that disappeared while I was folding clothes....Good times people, Good times.....

Haircut remorse...

Haven't we all been there? Come on, admit it - a poodle perm or maybe a little too much sun-in? at some time or another we have all had a hairdo we would rather forget (I cannot say this for my 90's hair - I LOVE big hair - and keep hoping it will make a come back - which looks as if it will never happen...hey, a girl can dream) I am currently sporting my most recent (I do not want to mislead you that this is a first, but just the most recent) bad hair decision.....I had a wild hair that I would get my hair cut on Sunday. A very good friend of mine does my hair and also my mother's....So while she was coloring mom's I figured what the hell I will get a hair cut (I really must find a hobby, because I attribute this to shear boredom - my hair didn't really need to be cut) As I thumb thru some haircut magazines and pick out all the ones that will never work for my hair because all those models have thick, full hair and mine is thin and flat I stumble on one that is cute, so I say how bout this one, friend says yeah, and we could even go shorter if you want.


Now I must say I am not one of those people who goes and gets a cut then sets and cries about it or refuses to leave the house if they don't like it, because anyone who knows me will tell you I am one of the most laid back people in the world...(House is on fire, well, oh, okay let's pack a few things and go - Someone's bleeding? Eh, apply a little pressure and get the superglue...anyway...you get my point....) so I figured it's just hair right? Why not?


Why not? What the hell was I thinking? I am so not loving the new do....This is of course not at all my friend's fault and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings because hey I am the one that asked (hell, and even paid for) the haircut, so I really have no one to blame but myself right? Yeah, yea me...I am an idiot...I do not like change - I am the person who rearranges her furniture and then puts it right back where it was (just ask the husband he got in on this fun at Christmas) so the haircut is a change, not even a positive one at this point.....It did look cute after she finished fixing it but I need remedial styling lessons. I absolutely cannot use a round brush without getting the damn thing stuck in my hair. So my point is since there is a waiting period to buy a gun how about a waiting period before drastic haircuts or anything more than just a trim which entails cutting off more than an inch or two...Did I mention how SLOW my hair grows? Yeah, I know it will grow...in a year or two....Hubby's comment when he saw it "You aren't pregnant are you?" (Which by the way was a total smart-ass question since he has had a vasectomy) to which I replied something like "Bite me"......

Ryder Gage

In other excuses why I have not posted in so long....I have a new nephew...and spent one loooong evening awaiting his arrival, for which I got to be in the delivery room - which is always fun if you aren't the one in pain trying to push out something the size of a watermelon from your vajay-jay....(oops, that was probably a little too graphic for some readers..) But, my future sister-in-law did an awesome job and was quite a trooper (GO, Natty!) He is most possibly the cutest baby ever and even has a head full of hair (which I was jealous of because none of my kids ever did...) I am enjoying this for many reasons:

1. I can spoil him and send him home - I held him sleeping in my arms for a few hours at the hospital - in fact until Len called and said "Put that baby down, come home and spend some time with Rhett and you will remember why we are never having another one" - or something to that effect...
2. I am watching my brother become a very hands-on, loving & caring daddy
3. He is SOOO cute (oops, I mentioned that already didn't I)
4. I absolutely cannot wait to buy him all the shit you hate when people buy your kids (you moms know exactly what I mean: Play-Doh, noisy toys, toys that have two million pieces to be put together....etc......) for which he will love me and my brother and sister-in-law will cuss me...

Yep, being an aunt is gonna be pretty fun.....

dance fever.....NOT

Yes, I did survive the dance..although can you call it a dance if the majority of the night they just stand around? I mean come on it was a DANCE, hence you assume people will do that, especially after you go to the trouble and pay a DJ and all......Which again not to knock someone when I am certainly not saying I could do better, but as a paid DJ could you not try and play some songs that might get them to dance...or I guess you could wait til about 12:05 (when the dance ends at 12:15) and start playing some songs that they all want to dance to...Of course with all those wild teenage hormones (god help all of us who are parents of teens) they all seemed to want to dance to slow songs - and yes, we had people patrolling to make sure no touchy feeling things were going on ...(Can't you see Alex's face turning red as I type this - God, ruining a teenager's life is fun- just kidding Alex - mommy loves you)

Evidence of the NON-dancing is shown below:
See, the picture isn't even blurry...Why? Because there is no movement.....I would have even danced but was under strict orders from the teenage drama queen not to ruin her party and embarrass her so I tried to stay under control even though I wanted to really bad...

All in all I think they had a good time.....NOT DANCING.....