Does anybody have an electric cattle prod?

Because if you do please let me know I am gonna jam Drama Queen very hard in the butt with it....Is that child abuse?

Wednesday afternoon was one of those days.....You know the kind in which when you even look at them they are disgusted with you, and you have wronged them by having the nerve to give birth to them and not treat them in the royal manner which they think they deserve....

This past weekend I gave her $40 bucks to spend (which I have still not yet received my change from) to cover a trip to the mall with friends and eating out with said friends on Friday.....(Also was nice enough to let her off the hook for swim practice) then Sat. took her to Little Rock with me to see future daughter in law's wedding dress and the bridesmaid dress she will wear in my step-son's wedding - this also involved a trip to the Olive Garden and we all had a very good time (Also letting her off the hook again for Sat. swim practice) so I am thinking I should have been nominated for mother of the year (yeah I know it's early in the year)....

Then as if that wasn't enough I also agree to let her go to a Taylor Swift concert in April which will of course require another hundred bucks ($50 for the ticket, eating out, and I'm sure a t-shirt)... and so naturally I think I deserve some stuff in return.. (a foot rub, a "mom your the best", breakfast in bed, yeah OK then I woke up from that dream....) like maybe pick up your freakin dirty underwear out of the floor, fold the clothes and put them away (I mean I did sort them and wash them for you) basically help me when I tell you too without the sighing and attitude that may very well land me in jail one day (after I beat the everloving crap out of her)....and will make her famous on Jerry Springer one day telling her story... (hopefully, she won't be asking for Jerry beads...) am I being unreasonable here people?

The allowance thing never works for us because she would always have a negative deficit -spending more in one weekend then her allowance would be.....I know I really should go dragon on her and make her sit her spoiled butt at home, but she is (basically) a good kid and does make good grades.....(Oh crap - I'm going soft again somebody snap me out of it...) so anybody got any suggestions if they don't have a cattle prod? I think she really needs to be sent away to a homeless shelter or something to appreciate what she has...

P.S. Did I mention where I am going this weekend?.....Oh yeah - good times - driving 4 1/2 hours to Fayetteville to watch drama queen swim two events at a swim meet....which will cost me two nights hotel, gas, food, and whatever else she can con me out of... and she has the nerve to get mad if I get on to her about not doing her best (yes, at times I am one of those crazed parents who make the sport "not fun" because I actually expect her to put forth some effort) since I am putting forth the effort and $$$ taking her to practice and meets...So I am sure after a weekend together I will have plenty of material for next week's blog.....ungrateful little urchin that she is.... Maybe one day I will let her do a guest post on my blog to vent about how unjust her life is - wouldn't that be fun?